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Ivo Vos | ColorMute

Ivo Vos

Obsessive compulsive?  Like your coffee with a fist full of pills?  Freak out when a single bristle on your toothbrush is crooked at an alarming 86° angle?  Man, are you going to love this.  The holy grail of anal retentive attention breakfastware, now you can master every angle of how you enjoy your toast and tea from the the amount of sugar and cream in your coffee (down to a milliliter), the height from which you pour your boiling water AND the exact trajectory of your toasts launch path.  Yes, the toaster is a catapult, it catapults your toast to your plate.  Even Dick Van Dyke in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang couldn’t top this.

Created by Ivo Vos, the “Brunch Collection,” asserts dominance over every x factor that could even possibly appear on your descarte inspired place mat.  The toaster not only lets you optimize your level of browning, but you can adjust the force and the angle from which it “launches” your toast to make sure it squarely lands on your plate.  Wow.

Even a 4 Star restaurant can’t place cutlery with this precision.  You can be so absurdly aligned that the plate, knife, spoon AND fork literally disappear.

The tea pot has a digital reader which I imagine uses lasers (on a tea pot!!) to record the height from which you pour your perfectly scalded water.  Seems excessive?  You can also measure your milk out to the perfect tenth of a milliliter to ensure optimal coffee to dairy consistency.  The sugar spoon is also an electronic scale, recreating your ideal cup morning after morning

Insane, this is a brunch set for the insane.  Yet I want it.  With as little control as we have over the course of our lives or even our day, this is a little piece of what it’s like to be God.  Perfect control, perfect vision, an exceptional breakfast that is sure to put me on the path to behavioral medication.

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